My parents raised me to think independently, with the goal of being able to head off on my own, while supporting me in the process. For me, home was a safe and secure place from which to go out into the world. When it was time for me to go to college, there was no question but that I would head out of state to the best opportunity possible. I raised my daughter with the same mindset, providing support and nurture, but always with the idea that she would become her own person and go out into the world, empowered and supported by but not tethered to home. I wanted her to have her own relationship with God, informed by but not determined by our faith. I was excited for the opportunities her out-of-state college choice presented. When she had the occasion to spend nearly two months in a developing country, I was thrilled for her and the growth experiences she would have.

But then, the spring of her senior year of high school, it got hard. Really hard. I felt at a loss as I saw her separate herself from her family and spend more and more time away from us, with friends. I became fearful as I saw her make decisions that weren’t the ones I would make. I worried that she was so ready to be on her own without our input. I became more and more anxious, uncharacteristically so, and weighed down. Finally, one morning I realized I was grieving that she was moving “away” from us. It helped me to see that she was actually doing exactly what I’d always wanted for her, to become her own person. The fact that it was something to mourn surprised me, but at the same time, the realization helped move me to a place of healing and restoration of my equilibrium.

At first, I was not supportive of her choice of college major. I had my own ideas of what was valuable, respectable, worthwhile. However, I eventually realized that her chosen major reflected who God made her to be. Once I realized that, I was able to support her choice with enthusiasm. My prayer for her is that she would continue to grow into the woman God made her to be, in her own unique way. One aspect of her creative personality is that her room is unbelievably messy, crowded, cluttered, piled and strewn. It used to bother me. But lately, as I walk past her open door seeing the colorful chaos, I celebrate what it represents, who she is and how she expresses herself. I’m retraining myself to see her for who she is and rejoice in that.

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them… Genesis 1:27

When I stop projecting my image onto others, I am better able to see the image of God in them. I’m grateful to be seeing my blossoming daughter more clearly.