This has been an interesting season for me. At the beginning of this school year, I felt led to focus my time and energy onto starting a ministry for teen moms at a local school. I also felt led that it was time to pull back from many of the ministries and volunteer activities that I have been involved in for years. In addition to stepping out of several past commitments to keep my schedule balanced, I felt like God was closing doors on a number of other activities as well. It was wrenching to say “no” to some of these “good things” that were personally rewarding and where I could make a valuable contribution, but it seemed clear that that was the right step to take.

Though the season began with anticipation about my new activity, days stretched into weeks that stretched into months where I was not able to connect with key people, dead ends led to new trails, and encouraging meetings and conversations alternated with nothing happening. God has clearly been leading me in “next steps” all along the way, but they are not the steps I expected; the road is far more circuitous and nothing is happening as fast as I anticipated. I started feeling like I am “pregnant” with this ministry; it’s a season of getting ready and waiting, but not being able to do a thing to hasten the process!

Without being able to say I was “doing” specific ministry, I began to see this season as an “identity fast” – a fast of things that define me. God had pulled from my grasp many of the activities that I could use to define myself, and instead of “doing,” I have to rest, wait, and trust. It’s helping me to understand what it means that my identity is not in what I accomplish, as well as given me more of a glimpse of what it means to take a Sabbath rest, to cease from striving, even for good things. Sometimes it’s painful, but I also value the opportunity to listen and learn what God has to teach me.

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him…Psalm 37:7