This has been a season of considering, “what’s next” for my life.  A month ago, I enthusiastically shared with a friend of mine, “I want to live the rest of my life – except for exercising – for the Kingdom of God.”  My focus was on:  how will I live that out; what does it look like; what role will I have?  But that’s the topic of another day.

I am not a great athlete, but I am a consistent one.  I exercise faithfully at least every other day.  Even when I was in India with a sprained foot, I managed to work out regularly in my hotel room.  When I said, “except for exercising,” what I meant was:  of course I want to keep doing that, and that’s not really going to further the Kingdom of God (other than maybe keeping me healthy longer so I have more time to do so), so we’ll keep the time spent exercising out of the equation.

In the four weeks since I made that statement to my friend, I have not had any specific answers about what my role will be.  However, I have been sick to the point of being in bed and unable to run for more days than in the past 20 years combined, first with a 48 hour stomach flu and then with a terrible cough.  Just when I was finally starting to recover, a particularly severe and prolonged coughing fit led to a sprained rib.  That night, as I writhed in agony trying to sleep, I realized there was no way I could do any kind of workout the next morning.  And suddenly it dawned on me, “I think God is trying to tell me something.”

I just have to laugh and praise God because I am so grateful that He is so good, and He loves me, and He is clearly telling me that, no, I don’t get to hold back any part of my life.  He wants it all, but in a way that I know is good and for my best.  It makes me feel loved, treasured, that He won’t let me withhold some part of myself without a fight, and I understand for the first time what it means that God is a jealous God.  I praise Him for He is a jealous God but not a controlling God.  I will continue to exercise but now submit that to Him as well.

For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God.  Deuteronomy 4:24

I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God… Isaiah 61:10