I love how God pursues me.  When He says he is a jealous God, it means He doesn’t want my fidelity to Him to be tainted by any misplaced devotion to anything else.  But He does not angrily demand my full attention.  Instead, He gently shows me where I stray and kindly sets me free from cords that bind me.

Recently, I prayed that God would address some of my behavior that is not fully surrendered to him, specifically, my obsessive compulsion to exercise, constant (though healthy) snacking, and deep emotional attachment to my morning cup of coffee.  (A few days earlier for a fasting blood test, I realized how deeply annoyed I was that I couldn’t have my coffee with my prayer time, revealing to me that this was an issue that needed addressing!)

Well, He answered that prayer in an unexpected way.  Within 24 hours, I had to go the ER because of heart palpitations and high blood pressure.  When I arrived at the ER, my BP was 212/107 and my initial EKG was very erratic.  As they rushed me into a room calling for a “med team stat”, the young woman pushing the wheelchair saying, “a lot of things are going to happen really fast; I just want to warn you,” My prayer changed from, “God, I don’t want to have a heart attack” to surrendering to His care.  One of the team arrived wearing a cross necklace.  I felt secure, that I was in good hands.  By the time they got me hooked up to the EKG in the room, my heart beat started to resolve.  Without even any intervention, things started to slowly return to normal.  I have some follow up to do, but it is no longer an emergency.

I am grateful, and even laughing, as I realize God is answering my prayer about my compulsions.  Because of the circumstances, I didn’t run for two weeks.  It was a fast from exercise.  Since I wasn’t burning so many calories, I was never hungry, and thus was relieved of the burden of hunger-snacking.  To avoid any caffeine-induced heart palpitations, I tried a glass of water with my morning prayer, and that was just fine.

Instead of me strategizing some kind of strict spiritual discipline, God orchestrated just what I needed so that my heart could be freed from those entanglements.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.  Galatians 5:1