A friend of mine (who happens to be quite neat and tidy) had an infestation of bedbugs.  When I heard that, I was deeply distressed.  I know how hard it is to get rid of those things, and that terrified me.  While I was concerned for her, honestly, I was also quite preoccupied with avoiding getting any of them into my own house.  I really struggled with God’s call to love her actively versus my own instinct for self-preservation.

As I confessed this struggle to a wise friend, her immediate horror at the thought of bedbugs assuaged my feeling of being a terrible person for wanting to avoid them.  Her words of practical avoidance-advice were a hedge around me, a boundary, not based on fear but on wisdom.  I am called to be wise in protecting and loving my family at the same time as loving those outside my home; Paul described this struggle for those who marry in 1 Corinthians 7:32-34.

However, I don’t get to draw a line and say God can’t cross it. (i.e., “I’ll love her so long as He doesn’t ask me to risk bringing bedbugs into my own home.”)  I don’t want to be unwise, but I am willing to be a little more like Jesus, not making being “wise” (e.g., practical, self-protective) an idol.  Without a formula to follow, I pray for wise boundaries and a discerning heart.

As you can see, I haven’t gotten this all figured out.  This challenge made me all the more grateful for Jesus’ loving touch, the way he put his hands on the untouchables, the lepers, the unclean.  Wrestling with my own shortcomings allows me to better see, appreciate, and worship Jesus.

This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus.  There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.  We love because he first loved us.  1 John 4:17-19

I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord.  But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.  1 Corinthians 7:32-34