I’m learning to depend humbly on God. But on other people? That’s a different story.

I just got back from a short-term mission trip to Ensenada, Mexico, working with Agua Viva Ministries. While most of our group built a church, several others worked on repainting a fence back at camp. After two days, they ran out of paint. Not only was there no more paint, the camp had no money to buy more paint. One of our team members purchased the paint so the work could continue, but it made me realize how little margin the ministry has. In choosing to give their lives to the people of Mexico, working hard and faithfully to share God’s love, they not only have to trust God to provide (easy to admire), they actually have to depend on people to make the donations (yikes!).

It didn’t really hit me until the day I got home, having restocked our kitchen with fresh fruit and everything else we could want for a week, how easy it is for me to buy what I need, and how humbling it would be to have to depend on others for support – it’s actually a bit terrifying for me to imagine. But I was humbled to realize how Christ-like their position is.

Christ, of all people, didn’t have to be dependent. Right? He’s God; he could do anything. But he chose to be, to put himself at the mercy of others. This is hard for me to contemplate. Jesus also intentionally put his disciples in a position of dependence on others when he sent them out. Do not take a purse or bag or sandals…When you enter a town and are welcomed, eat what is offered to you. (Luke 10:4,8) Could he possible want more of that in my life, too?

My full fruit basket is a symbol of my imagined self-sufficiency that keeps me from experiencing this aspect of Jesus’ character. If I were living in the position of dependent receptivity exemplified by these missionaries, somehow I would better understand the heart of Christ. I’m thankful for my friends at Agua Viva who are giving me this glimpse of him.